I woke up the other morning, went on a walk, and was greeted by this incredible view. I can’t believe I live here!
When I was in high school, I was convinced that I would leave my hometown and move to the Pacific Northwest for college, where I would fulfill my dream of beanie-wearing, coffee-drinking, alternative music-loving hipsterdom. Even though I came from a vacation town known for incredible nature, a beautiful coastline, and renowned surf, I viewed Santa Cruz as a place that kept me from living my true and authentic life.
Growing up, I rarely felt like I fit in. When I was young, I was friends with people who later became popular in school. I always felt like the weird kid who was friends with these people due to luck and good timing. In first grade, I started showing symptoms of Tourettes Syndrome, and even though my friends stood up for me when I was made fun of, I felt like even more of an outsider. In 7th grade, I eschewed this group of friends, turning to books and solitude because I was convinced that my interests and hobbies highlighted my otherness. I met another group of friends, people who thrived more on the outskirts of the school hierarchy. But even with this group, I felt like I was different, never fully accepted. When I applied for colleges, my goal was to move out of state and start anew. I believed that Santa Cruz stifled my personality and that the people living here didn’t understand me.
I spent almost 7 years living away from Santa Cruz, in search of community. It felt like every time I got close to building a network of close friendships, I would have to move away for one reason or another. When I would embark on long traveling adventures, I held onto this idea that my community was out there, maybe hiding in a foreign country, but this community never came to fruition.
I moved back to Santa Cruz in 2018 for graduate school, and I was not thrilled to be back in my hometown. I struggled to make friends, and commuting to-and-from San Francisco for school further drained my limited social battery. I felt stuck. In my free time, I would often research towns in Australia and Portugal and dream of setting up a life there. After graduating from my masters program, I went on a three-month trip to South America, which culminated in the breakup of a relationship. I returned home to Santa Cruz with the intention of staying for a few months before moving elsewhere. Almost two years later, I am still here, but my life is so vastly different: I have a thriving community of friends and so many hobbies that I often forget to prioritize solo time.
Trail winding through redwood trees dappled with sunlight in Santa Cruz, California. One of my favorite places to run in Santa Cruz, Land of Medicine Buddha.
So, what changed? I went from truly believing that I would never uncover my tribe in Santa Cruz to finding myself immersed in multiple beautiful communities of people who interconnect in quirky and surprising ways. I think two major shifts occurred: I met a partner who opened me up to a new group of individuals and who showed me Santa Cruz through his eyes–the eyes of an outsider–and I loosened my rigidity, allowing myself to stay out late, to attend fun events, and to be open to new experiences–even if that meant my routine would be thrown off. Witnessing how my partner and non-local friends viewed Santa Cruz shifted my jaded perception. I noticed their gratitude for the redwood trees, the hiking trails extending for miles, and the Monterey Bay. I saw them appreciate the beautiful sunny days of fall and the dense marine layer of fog in summer. I noticed their excitement to climb, bike, surf and run. And I became excited to explore this beautiful place that I have the luxury and privilege of calling my home.
Today, I feel so grateful. I am grateful to live in this beautiful town surrounded by a community that loves living here. These people remind me to notice the little things that make this place so unique: the Monarch Butterflies that descend in hoards in the winter months, the sea otters that hang out while we are in the water swimming or surfing, the inconspicuous community spaces where friends gather to do art or talk. There is something special in knowing that you might run into someone you know almost anywhere you go in Santa Cruz. I love how interconnected this place can be, and I can’t wait to bear witness to my community growing and thriving in this magical town. Oh, how things did not turn out the way I imagined.
So, what are you grateful for in your life? I want you to take a look around and appreciate the things that bring you joy. It can be so easy to fixate on the negative, but I hope this blog post inspires you to notice the beautiful little moments in your life that bring a smile to your face and warmth to your heart.
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