So many of us go through life out of sync with what we truly want and who we genuinely are. We say yes when we mean no. We strive to be easygoing, to not rock the boat, to keep things simple for others—even at the cost of our own needs. We show up in ways that feel inauthentic because we’re afraid of what might happen if we let our true selves be seen. And in [...]
When I moved back to my hometown for grad school, I told myself it was temporary—just a couple of years, then I’d be off to find my place in the world. But grad school came and went. I started dating someone. I settled into the everyday rhythms of Santa Cruz. I had my community, my family close by, a climbing gym I loved, the ocean at my doorstep. Life was good. And yet, something felt... [...]
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how things shift when we’re in a romantic relationship. It’s fascinating how easily the lines between what I need and what they need get blurred. Differentiation—the ability to hold onto your own sense of self while staying connected to your partner—can get really tricky. It sounds simple, but it’s something that can quietly slip away without us even realizing. Take this for example: When I’m single, I feel so [...]
I have been thinking a lot recently about the difference between vulnerability and oversharing. For the past few years, I have taken pride in my ability to be authentic and vulnerable with many people, but I have begun to wonder about the line between sharing openly and sharing too much. Is there a point where my desire to share becomes a pretense for creating connection that simply isn’t there? And with whom should I share vulnerable [...]
I woke up the other morning, went on a walk, and was greeted by this incredible view. I can’t believe I live here! When I was in high school, I was convinced that I would leave my hometown and move to the Pacific Northwest for college, where I would fulfill my dream of beanie-wearing, coffee-drinking, alternative music-loving hipsterdom. Even though I came from a vacation town known for incredible nature, a beautiful coastline, and [...]